How to Strengthen Your Inner Foundation
STRENGTHENING YOUR FOUNDATION
The Coaching, Cocktails, & Conversations Podcast with Lolita E. Walker
**This blog is a transcript of episode 1 on the podcast. May you read it and imagine Lolita pouring into you. Should any nuggets resonate with you, please subscribe to your favorite podcast platform (Coaching, Cocktails, & Conversations) and write an amazing review so that others can also be inspired to hear and feel what you did.
Thank you so much, Lolita
Welcome to Coaching, Cocktails, & Conversations with Lolita E Walker, the podcast that coaches you up while meeting you exactly where you are. Grab your water, tea or something stronger, and allow this podcast to help you feel the power in your pause. Come on in and join the conversation. Let's go.
Hello. Hello. Hello. And welcome to season one, episode one, Strengthening Your Foundation. I am just so excited to have you here with me today on my first episode of my podcast. I'm so excited. This is absolutely my small win for today. I cannot even begin to explain to you how long I have been saying that I am going to be putting a podcast out into this world with the goal to just give nuggets of coaching while I'm having a bit of fun and some good old fashioned conversations, just like I do at my kitchen table.
Now, don't the best conversations happen in your kitchen? I swear the answer for me is absolutely. Whenever anybody comes over, the place that we all gather is always the kitchen. That is probably because I'm usually cooking something but that is where the best conversations happen. Even when there's no cooking going on, everybody always gathered in the kitchen and we end up sitting at the table, standing all around and having the best conversations. So this is the vibe that I am setting for right here inside of this podcast. And they always happen right one time.
So as a certified life and executive coach, a TEDx speaker and the author of, “The Intersection of You and Change,” My passion truly lies in meeting you exactly where you are to help you leap beyond where you even think you want to go. That's one of my core strengths. I'm able to do that and I do it very well. But in everything I do, including my own personal and professional coaching and consultancy. I help women and teams to feel the power in their pause. I help you dig deep, move distractions out of your way, and then shift to the best version of yourself. This podcast is an extension of me and all of my passion that surrounds my work. You know, the purpose of this new podcast is to shift your thinking and to help you truly feel the power in your pause.
If you don't mind, I'm going to use this inaugural episode to be a little different from what you're going to experience in future episodes. So today I'm going to help you strengthen your foundation, while I also share a bit of my own foundation and talk to you a little bit about what you can expect inside of this podcast right here.
I'm going to do everything by leaning on my three-part methodology that I will use in every podcast. So part one. Ready? Is coaching. I'm going to delve into our topic a bit and then leave you with a few nuggets to intertwine into your every day. Okay. Then there’s cocktails. What do you think about when you're having cocktails? You're relaxed. It's a celebration. Typically, you're celebrating something, even if it's just a sit and pause – oh my gosh. You're celebrating something. And it's that release. It’s that putting your feet up. It’s that ahhh. So whether you're drinking water, tea or something stronger, it's not about what you're sipping when you come to this kitchen table. No, it's about the celebration of who you are and all that you bring to the table.
And then part three is conversations. So, sometimes it's going to be done with an invitation to an extra special guest to come on and give us another perspective on whatever the topic is that we happen to be talking about for that episode. And sometimes, guess what? The conversation is just going to be between you and I. And I will already warn you that sometimes it's going to feel uncomfortable and that's okay. But I want to challenge your thinking on where you are, again, to shift you further….to shift you so that you can soar. I hope that makes sense. And that is why you are here at Coaching Cocktails and Conversations, with Lolita E Walker.
See, this podcast here is a mindset shift. It's a choice to upgrade your lifestyle just a little bit. Consider it like a personal maintenance staff that's here for you to help you strengthen any cracks that happened to be inside of your foundation. So why do you think I'm starting my first podcast with, Strengthening Your Foundation? It's really because I believe firmly that you have to know what you're standing upon. You have to know what you're standing upon so that you can know, is it strong? Do I need some work inside of that foundation? So let's get started.
Coaching:
Now a reminder, this episode, the title is, Strengthening Your Foundation. Now, before we strengthen it, you have to first know what it is, right? So I want to start with this. When you think of foundation, what do you think of? Go ahead and say it out loud. You might be by yourself. You might be with other people. Don't feel silly. Just go ahead and say it out loud. When you think of the word foundation, what do you think of? Me, I think of a house. I think of the structure in the bottom most part of it, what is holding it up. I think of strength. I think of just the solid structure that's holding up all of this weight. What did you say? Now how would you describe your foundation? Would you say it was strong? Would you say, ah, there's a couple of cracks in it and I need to get those repaired? Hmm. Would you say that there's room for doubt and fear, anxiety, stress to seep into those cracks of your foundation? Does that happen, right? Yeah? But is there also room for joys, for triumphs and wins to help strengthen that foundation? Is there room for that? Are so many distractions and chaos in the way of strengthening your foundation? And when that foundation does crack, because it will happen, right? When that foundation of you does crack, do you have a list of resources that you can go to, to help repair it and strengthen that foundation? Huh?
So I want to talk to you today about your foundation. Okay. I want to share this story with you. And this is kind of the foundation of this podcast and how we got started and how I got my butt in motion.
So, it’s Corona-cation, right? It's just another day during this Corona-cation and my son, my mom and I are sitting at the breakfast table and I pull out one of my affirmations from my forty card deck of affirmations that I sell. And this one reads, I leap because my faith and strengths have wings to protect my fall. What? Powerful Right? Let me say that again. I leap because my faith and strengths have wings to protect my fall.
So I'm sitting there in the power of this affirmation and saying it aloud. And as normal, we go around in a round table and say, how are you going to leverage this affirmation today? How are you going to live in it? So everybody goes and I get to my part. And honestly in my mind I'm like, I don't know the how, but what I know is that when I'm feeling butterflies or where I'm feeling this procrastination, I'm just going to say, listen, I'm going to fly. I'm standing on this foundation of faith and strength that's going to help me to fly. Really what those butterflies are…I didn't recognize that they were fear yet, until I tell you this next part.
So, after we finish our breakfast, I go into my office. I’m sitting at my computer that I started and while it's booting up. I look up and what do I see? BAM! Right in my face is my vision board and right at the top is my theme for this year. It says, Lolita, surrender to plenty in 2020. Yup. Right on my vision board, surrender to plenty in 2020. My eyes glance over to the right and what do I see is a white paper that's glued on there with a black artwork that says podcast. And there's an outline of a black microphone right behind it. I kid you not, I can't make this up. This is a true story. And right there, I think back to my affirmation of, I leap because my faith and strengths have wings to protect my fall. I'm looking at this vision board that I have up for 2020 and I'm recognizing--- And guess what? It’s May and I have done no work toward my podcast. Now that's okay because I have all year. But what I recognized is the reason that I haven't done the work is because of fear. I haven't leaped into my podcast because of fear. And when I sat there and I wrote out what is stopping me… what is in the way of me doing this podcast? What I'd recognized is that there's nothing that can't be overcome. There was nothing there that I can't grab some help for. Reach out for some help and assistance to get me beyond the barrier that I think is in my way. That was fear.
I share that story with you because what I recognized in that moment is that I am standing on the foundation of my faith. Absolutely. I'm standing on the foundation of my strengths. One of them being a connector. So, who am I going to connect with in order to make sure that some of these barriers get out of the way that I've written down? Then I said, this is why I haven't started my podcast. No. That barrier has now become an excuse because I have someone there who was there to help me to patch what was now a crack of doubt; what was a crack of fear in my foundation. You see what I'm saying? What I'm saying to you is sometimes we have to stand upon our foundation and be really clear on what the aspects are that have built our foundation.
So I ask you again, how would you describe your foundation? Is it strong? What are you standing on? What are your strengths? Tell me two strengths that you have right now. Only two strengths that you have right now. I've already given you one of mine. I am a connector. I am a connector not only for other people, right? But I also am a connector in that, when I really dig down, I can associate myself with someone who possesses a strength that can help me in my time of need. My time of need in the example that I gave you was to create this podcast. So who am I going to connect with? What resource am I going to connect with so that this crack doesn't become a hole? All right.
What are your two strengths?
Good. How would you describe your foundation? See my foundation, I am passion. I am power. I am purpose. I know that. I know that I stand on the foundation of faith. I know what I believe. I know that God will see me through any obstacle. And I know that I don't always feel great every single day. I don't always feel great. But what I know is that when I'm ready to leap, I have strengths that are holding me up. I have my faith that is holding me up. I have some resources in my circle that can also help me to be held up in this moment. Yes, they are wings. They are my wings that are going to help me to soar when I decide to leap. It is very important that you have a strong foundation. So how do you strengthen that foundation? How do you strengthen that foundation?
What I want to offer to you today is to just do a little bit of soul work. Do a little bit of soul work as your homework and this is about strengthening your foundation. I want you to write down what are two strengths that you have.
Sometimes some folks struggle with what their strengths are and that is okay. That's okay. We are building our foundation. One of them you've got to know. One of them has to be from you. But if you struggle with finding another strength and knowing that it is one of your strengths, than ask someone, Hey, what's the strength that you think that I have. And give me an example of it. Okay? So you're going to have these two strengths that are right there for you. You're going to have two strengths. What else is holding you up? What are your core values? Integrity, honesty, compassion. What are your core values? Sometimes you're going to have to think about it and I want to give you that time. That's why it's soul work. What are your core values? Because you're standing on that as well.
How does it feel when you're free? How does it feel when you're moving in your passion? These are all the things that come together on what it is that you stand on. You're standing on these core principles, your values, your faith, your strengths. How is yours made up? I want you to know. I want you to feel it. I want you to believe it. I want you to trust it. This is about setting up your foundation and then strengthening your foundation.
I want you to be able to use this podcast as a resource to strengthen your foundation. We're going to have topics. Topics that are going to help you strengthen your foundation. We're going to have guests that will help you strengthen your foundation. And guess what? We'll have you, who is going to help you to strengthen your foundation.
Cocktails:
I want to say cheers to you for recognizing what makes up your foundation. Okay? That's big work. Cheers to you for acknowledging that there are cracks in your foundation that allowed doubt and fear and anxiety and stress to peep on in, to creep in. But when that happens, who are you calling on to help you? Some people call on God right away. There's some people who call on a friend and some people who call on a parent. There's some people who call on a coach like myself. The value in that is that you're also having an accountability partner right there with you to help you push forward, to help you move those obstacles out of your way. And that is why coaching is so amazing. So cheers to you for digging deep with some soul work to get clear on how you will continue to strengthen your foundation.
Conversations:
So in this conversation that we're about to have I'm going to ask you, again. How are you strengthening your foundation? How would you describe your foundation? I want you to dig a little deeper. How would you describe your foundation? What are your strengths? What are your core values? What’s sitting there? Who are you relying on to help patch these things up? Where do your cracks exist inside of your foundation? I want you to sit in this place and feel the power that is within it. This is the place where I help you to solidify your foundation.
Can you feel the coaching? Can you feel the cocktails and the cheering on, of you? The celebration? Can you feel the conversation that we're having? I love it. I absolutely love it. This is the place where I want you to feel the power that is inside of you. I want you to challenge your thinking. How did that exercise make you feel?
Sometimes it's uncomfortable and that's alright. That's why you come here to get a little coached up. What is one win that you're taking away from this podcast today? What’s one win that you're taking away from this podcast today?
I'd love to hear from you. So, email me at podcast@lolitawalker.com. I would love to hear from you. What did you learn about yourself inside of this podcast right here? What did you learn about your foundation? Where did you think that there were cracks, that maybe weren't there? Were there additional cracks that you thought about? Who's helping you to really strengthen your foundation? Take some time after this podcast, rewind, listen back, forward it to a friend. Talk about it with a friend. This is here to be a tool to help you sit in the power of your pause. I want to meet you where you are and allow yourself to open up and be coached. I love it.
I get so much out of these podcasts, the same way you get out. So this has been amazing.
We have concluded another episode of, Coaching, Cocktails and Conversations with Lolita E Walker. Connect with me at lolitawalker.com for speaking, coaching and my book, The Intersection of you & Change. Next time, bring a friend. Cheers.
……………
**Lolita is a single mommy of a school-aged son. She is the owner of Walker & Walker Enterprises, a personal and professional coaching and consultancy that helps busy women and teams to truly feel the power in their pause. Through certified coaching, speaking, courses, her book, podcast, women and corporate retreats, and empowerment products, Lolita meets you where you are to journey you to where you want to be. Please visit lolitawalker.com for additional information and please do not forget to gift a 5-star podcast rating if you were able to take any amazing nuggets from Lolita or any of her podcast guests. It helps her grow organically and....also feels great to read and celebrate that win! Thank you for listening, sharing, and reviewing.
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It's Time for your RESET! The Summer is Here!
5 Tips to R.E.S.E.T.
Remember to capture YOUR wins
Embrace YOUR impacts
Surround your space with positive energy
Experience the joy of YOU
Trust that YOU ARE.......uniquely YOU
The sun is out, the grills are lit, the beach is waiting on your arrival, and RESET season is here! It's time to pause, to reflect, to celebrate, and to enjoy YOU! Here's 5 tips to help you get your summertime RESET on!!! Have fun!!
R is for Remember to capture YOUR wins
How amazing would it be to read your collective wins at the end of a long week? How inspiring would it be to remember your achievements on those days you feel you have nothing more to give? It’s all in your control! If I may offer you one consideration, I would love for you to try something new in the upcoming week, which is something that has worked for me and a number of my clients, friends, and family. Consider posting a flip chart pad or sheet of paper near the dinner table. Each day before dinner, jot down your small win. If there are other folks in your household, also consider dividing your paper in columns, with the name of each family member at the top, where everyone writes one small win from that day. There are no rules, there is no judgement, but instead, simply the capture of what each person considers their win. My 6-year-old son occasionally writes, “you picked me up early from after school” or “my teacher said I did great today.” Not only may this be a new dinner-time ritual and conversation piece, but it also showcases a moment in your day where you achieved something great…AND allows you to articulate it to people you know, trust, and love! Congratulations.
E is for Embrace YOUR impacts
Far too often, we miss taking our moments to say “Wow, I did do that.” Even at a rarer instance do we take time to celebrate our impacts. Did you know that you had an impact on someone yesterday and today? Hmmm, you had to think about it right? Well, it’s true. Even when you don’t want to be or think you are, there is someone looking at you for encouragement and it’s OK to take moments to pause, reflect, and embrace the impact you are having on others. Occasionally, it is even hard to fathom that someone saw you and your actions as role modelling a piece of where they want to be, an inspiration, a push, or a lesson. When you sit and reflect, you are able to embrace the fact that there is in fact, cause for celebration.”
Here’s a little story. As I coached a client this week through a brainstorm of what would excite her in her moments of pause, she mentioned a “me party.” Now a recurring schedule on Fridays at 5:00pm, with an hour reminder to wrap up at work, her new 5:00pm appointment with herself became the weekly celebration she needed for her. I pass this along to you because a “me party,” quite simply put, is pausing to enjoy your moments. It will differ for everyone, but for this amazing woman, her celebration includes take-out from a local restaurant, a glass of wine, a recliner, and her favorite Netflix movie. I encourage you to define your “me party” AND get it scheduled today!
S is for Surround YOUR space with positive energy
Social media may remind you that you have 1K followers or 200 more connections in a single day, however your personal space is a sacred place. This is reserved for the energy you want to give and that you wish to receive. Surrounding yourself with people and things that push you beyond where you are today, will allow you to thrive in a newfound greatness you have yet to realize.
E is for Experience the joy of YOU
Guilt, fear, and the notion that we are too busy to slow down, are only three blocks that get in our way when we think of taking care of you first. When you invest in taking care of yourself, you fuel your mind, your body, and your soul. Who said being selfish on occasion is a bad thing? My vote is that it is A-OK! I posted an “instructional acronym” on SELFISH this week and would love to share it with you in the event that you missed my post on IG, FB, or LI.
T is for Trust that YOU are uniquely YOU
Need a reminder? Consider not only reminding yourself, but also reminding the world by grabbing a tee or tank that make the same power statements.
In summary, your RESET is all about YOU! An easy and poetic way to keep it all together is...
You are cordially
Remember to capture your small wins
Embrace the impacts you have made, then allow your celebrations to begin
Surround your space with positive energy, folks who lift you when you are at your worst
Experience the joy that comes along with taking care of you first
Trust that you are enough, you are worthy, and you are blessed! BEYOND MEASURE!
JOIN AN AMAZING WOMEN'S WEEKEND RENEWAL RETREAT & GET YOUR RESET ON with 11 other powerful women September 21-23, 2018. Check it out and grab your tickets today!
Lolita E. Walker is a change champion for women and a certified coach. Her passion of witnessing transformation right before her eyes has sparked her movement of empowering women to embrace their challenges and triumphs, act in their strengths, and thrive in their greatness. Personalized affirmations, coaching, women's retreats, products that make a statement, and more, Lolita meets you where you are and journeys you to where you want to be.
Are YOU your top priority?
Hmmmm, how do you make you your top priority?
How many times have you said ABSOLUTELY as the response to this question because you know it is the right answer? How many times have endless thoughts danced in your head to then give you pause in taking those moments you need?
Likely this has happened to you once or twice. How do I know? Because I have had this happen to me as well. I have been there when little voices rouse up feelings of guilt, as if there is no time, or thoughts that you don't need to take your moments right now because you are doing just fine on your own. Far too often, as women, we don't take the necessary moments to PAUSE and renew ourselves.
Self-focus, self-doubt, self-sabotage, & self-limiting beliefs can knock us down and hold us hostage each day. The drive is knowing that we are better than the little voices in our heads. We are powerful, we are smart, we are warriors, we are determined. Even Wonder Woman pauses to simply be :) In the normal hustle and bustle, busy women like us can begin to renew ourselves by creating time in our schedules, shifting our mindsets, and knowing that taking care of us means that we are better able to take care of others. Here are a few tidbits on how to consistently renew you - one step at a time.
7 Steps to Renewing You.
1. Take Moments to BREATHE
To really breathe. Solitary deep breaths in of knowing you are enough, of positive energy, of your worthiness, of your commitment to greatness in your day. Deep breaths out of toxic energy, negativity, self-limiting beliefs, and of doubt.
2. Lean on FAITH & MEDITATION
To have a greater purpose beyond yourself and a faith that holds you up is a rock that is unshakable. Lean on it for strength and guidance as you move throughout your journey.
3. AFFIRM Yourself Daily
Address yourself in the mirror daily to profess what you will do and be within your day. Continue until this routine is missed if you momentarily forget.
4. Visualize Your GOAL
Get your goals on paper so that you can see it daily.
5. Identify Your SUPPORT SYSTEM
Occupy your space with people who will hold you up during your journey.
6. Communicate your LEAP PLAN
To leap is to know that there is a world of unknown awaiting for you.
7. COMMIT
Just do it! You got this!
RENEW yourself for the greatness that lies ahead.
Remember you are stronger and smarter than you may give yourself credit for.
Expose yourself to new experiences & be amazed at how your strengths propel you to soar.
Nourish your mind with positive energy & affirmations each day.
Execute your work with excellence, pride, & with everything you are proud to attach to your name.
Wish the same upon those who support you, then with your leadership, they will do the same.
Consider renewing YOU at an upcoming Women's Weekend Renewal & Training Retreat to reset right before the holidays. You will enjoy 11 other phenomenal women, at a serene location, private chef, workshops, mindfulness, and much more.
Lolita E. Walker is a change champion, speaker, and workshop facilitator at the forefront of a movement to help women shift their mindsets and take back moments for themselves. These moments translate to more productive, creative, and decisive individuals, who embrace change at the onset, act with clarity and confidence, and thrive, as they surpass their desired results. She moves powerful women into their own personal greatness to thrive in work, home, and life. Within the disruption, discomfort, fear, and doubts of change, are triumphs, successes, and wins. Lolita's brings those out of all of her clients. Her services range from creating personalized daily affirmations, to retreats, speaking, and coaching, to name a few.
