He Said or She Said........
7 Ways to L.O.V.E. Y.O.U. and remember your Core Values when He Said or She Said something that doesn’t quite sit right with you!
HE SAID………… (or She Said)
Something that made you question YOU….so what do you do?
It’s easy for someone to tell you the first thing that comes to mind, “Give them the business right where you sit,” but sometimes we find ourselves simply caught in the moment of “what is happening now?” or even thinking “if i said what I really think, I could be fired immediately.”
Have this happened to you?? I know that I can absolutely relate!
Though you may be cursing them in your head, your facial expressions may be giving them every word non-verbally, or you have zoned out to think through how you got to this point….your reality is that you are still seated across from the person who has said something you do not agree with and it has hit you at your core.
Over the past two months, I have gotten a few questions on what my thoughts are to best handle feedback. I think this is partially because I consistently profess that feedback is a gift….which I truly do believe.
We have found ourselves in December! Hallelujah but hold on to your seats sports fans! The end of the calendar year is typically a time when your direct manager is plunging through quarterly reviews, you have increased stress driven by last minute work and personal deadlines, shopping for the holidays is still on your to do list and you still need to squeeze in time for reflection and to document your small wins.
Whew!!!!!! You’ve got a lot going on!
So WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO……………
My advise is to remember to L.O.V.E. Y.O.U as you hold on to your core.
…….Because YOU are talented, you are unique, you are an expert in what you do.
Listen Intently
Have you heard the saying, “You have two ears and one mouth and to use them accordingly?” If not, no problem, it may be something that my father put on instant repeat each time I put my foot in my mouth without truly using the opportunity to not only hear, but to listen.
Allow yourself to be present during the conversation by taking a deep breath when you realize that this is about to be a difficult conversation. Your undivided attention in the conversation allows you to understand not only what is being said to you, but the reason that they are saying it. Listening is the only true way to then be able to ask intelligent follow up questions that may drill a bit of clarity.
Option your opportunities
If feedback is a gift, what parts can you control? Well let’s think about this for a moment. It’s not a bad thing to make yourself vulnerable and invite input into your space. What you have power over is how you react to this gift that is being presented to you. Will you act upon each point? Is it something that you know will help you personally and/or professionally?
Consider after hearing what is said, to write down the strengths that came out of the conversation and the opportunities that were highlighted. Option them.
I am suggesting that you write them as a list and then give options on how they could help you if this area were improved. Choose then if you can leverage your strengths to help you. Choose if this is a priority for you at this point. Remember that you don’t need to necessarily grab all of these gifts with excitement :) Just because they were offered to you does not mean that you must readily unpack them. It’s ok to give yourself a bit of time.
Voice your understanding
Consider after you listen to the feedback to repeat back your understanding. As you summarize what you heard, it offers the other person to confirm or clarity the points. When you draw clarity, you can then focus on the most relevant information. You are clear on the points that they have made and can avoid assumptions or reading more into what was said. This, for me, has proven to open a dialogue of better understanding. In your emotion of “how dare you” thoughts during the conversation, you may have misheard a few points or related it to something unintended. Clarity breeds understanding.
Explore you and your role
Take time with the input and leverage this time to reflect and to explore. Is this feedback something that has been told to you in the past by another person? Have you explored if this feedback is worth unpacking and doing something with? What role did you play in the examples that were told to you?
Yesterday’s thoughts
Compare your “yesterday’s thoughts” to today. Once you have had a moment to sit on what was said, you then have a clear head to compare. Have your thoughts changed at all? Are you in more of an open space to receive the feedback that you may have blocked yesterday?
Organize with clarity
As you can see, clarity is an ongoing theme with each of the points as you L.O.V.E. Y.O.U. To be clear is to be focused and to be focused allows you to navigate the path that is best for you by assigning actions that yield the outcome that makes the most sense.
Use your strengths
At the end of the day, your core strengths are able to propel you to your greatness. They are what make you you. They are what you have become an expert in and likely are innate characteristics that you possess. The beauty in this is that these strengths have become part of your DNA. Use them to secure the resources and help you need to turn those opportunities into further strengths.
You are good at what you do. You are good at being you. Allow these strengths to work for you and help you L.O.V.E. Y.O.U even more.
Your strengths become your power so protect them. Don’t easily give these up or allow them to be taken away from you by a cloud of what others may not yet see. The feedback or input that was given to you is just that - a gift. What you control is when you unpack that gift, how you react to that gift, and how you allow yourself to bounce back!
Own it and l.o.v.e. y.o.u
I’d LOVE to see you at my upcoming February 2019 Women’s Weekend Renewal Retreat. Not only is it a sacred space to reflect and renew, but it is the perfect opportunity for you to love you even more. Investing in you to pause, reflect, and rejuvenate is PERFECT for you to jump start 2019.
It's Time for You To L.E.A.P.
Ready to L.E.A.P.? Please allow me to show you four ways to start your journey.
“The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be...because of all I will become I will close my eyes and leap.””
Ever had that butterfly feeling in your tummy and knew you should just do it, or been fed up and simply knew you need a change? Well...
NOW IS YOUR TIME, YOUR TIME TO LEAP and here are 4 things to commit to memory that remind you YES, YOU CAN!
L is for Latch
Latch on to your faith and strengths, which will help you soar to greater heights.
Ask 3 people you know to give you 3 of your strengths. Shoot them an message, call them up, or ask them in person, the results will be the same. You are looking for positive characteristics that make you.,YOU! Ask them to give you an example of each one so you have context. Try not to challenge what they share with you, over-analyze, or ask penetrating questions, because you have now opened your mind to receive their feedback as a gift. Simply say thank you and most importantly of all, believe them. Relish in the fact that you have many strengths, some that you know and some you have yet to realize.
The reality is that we oftentimes fail to pause and simply take in our small wins. Your strengths are wins. They are what empower, inspire, motivate, challenge, and demand the positive attention you deserve. Take your moments to pause because, guess what.... YOU ARE GREAT! simply say thank you, let the feedback sit, and then think about how this strength can help you reach your goal! This, alongside your faith, will propel you to SOAR!
E is for Expect
Expect ups and downs on the journey to bring life to your vision.
If it were easy......well,,,, all of us would have leaped by now! There will definitely be times you will question yourself and even contemplate whether or not you should quit. There will be times you get extra energy because you are on a roll. It is these energetic wins that will lift you when you begin to challenge your decision to leap. Here's something that you can try. At the end of each day, document a small win. Stick a sheet of paper, titled "Small Wins" on your wall so it is visible daily. You can even section off columns for everyone in your household. It is a fabulous family fun time, that after a few times, will become a fun habit that everyone looks forward to. Stay consistent and lean on these accomplishments when your days, weeks, and months throw small doubts your way! #YOUGOTTHIS
A is for Assess
Assess your progress and adjust to meet your goals.
Just because you have a plan doesn't mean you cannot adjust the plan as needed. Your goal is clear, you have developed how you will get there, have tested it out over a period of time, and have a few results to warrant the change. Do it! It is your plan. You created it to achieve your your goal. Adjust as needed and be sure to measure your success.
P is for Prepare
Prepare to live and thrive in your greatness. ITS RIGHT THERE!
When you have reached your goal, the magic that sits there awaiting you is confidence, commitment, power, determination, accomplishment, perseverance and reward! You did that. Yes, you are worthy! Recognize and Reward Yourself!
Lolita E Walker is the author of “The Intersection of You & Change,” Certified Life & Executive Coach and Change Champion for Women. She is at the forefront of a movement to empower women to embrace, act, and thrive in the challenges and triumphs that are before them, act in their strengths, and thrive in the greatness that they are. Click Here to Read More
Are YOU ready to L.E.A.P.? You are invited aboard Lolita’s Change Train!
SPRING into A New You
6 Ways to help you S.P.R.I.N.G. into the new you!
It’s Time to SPRING Into A New You & Here's 6 Tips to Get You Started
The sun has peeked its head, the children are making their way to the playground, vacations are being planned, your car is finally getting washed. When you clean your windows and change out the closets, consider cleaning out the clutter in your personal space. Spring is the perfect time to detangle yourself from some of the people and things that may occupy your spaces and places.
· Think of 5 people in your immediate circle. Are they adding to your "joy jar" or taking from it each day?
· Are your friends telling you what they think you want to hear or what they know you need to hear?
· Are you already super happy and simply are wanting spring to jump start your next phase of awesomeness?
Well, COME ON IN SPRING!
Check out this S.P.R.I.N.G. acronym to spring you into something new!
1. Sing it loud.
I am a conqueror. I am beautiful. I am power. I deserve any and every blessing that is coming my way.
Start with a deep breath in and a deep breath out each morning as you wake. Consider modifying your morning routine to include gratitude and an affirmation to yourself, FOR YOURSELF. Be specific, intentional, and driven towards your core strengths and the greatness of where you want to be. Don't know where to start? Grab a powerful, personal, & poetic affirmation designed just for you.
2. Prepare yourself for the breakthrough that is headed straight your way.
Start with removing distractions from your space. Avoid getting caught up in what is not progress you forward. It oftentimes seems easier said than done BUT it doesn't have to be. YOU GOT THIS! Be clear on your goals. If people or things are obstructing your path to achieving those goals, classify them as a distraction. Move them to the sidelines and keep forging ahead. When you reach your end destination, you can then decide if they remain on the sidelines or if you allow them into your new space.
3. Rediscover yourself.
Rediscover what you love to do, THEN do it. Here's a little exercise. Grab a sheet of paper, position it horizontally, and divide it into five columns.
Column 1: Write down 3 things you are doing when you are at your happiest.
Column 2: Write down the month and year of the last time you recall doing each of the 3 activities.
Column 3: Write down what obstacle or fear is holding you back from doing each activity more regularly.
Column 4: Write down what you can do to conquer each obstacle or fear.
Column 5: Write down a month THIS YEAR that you will plan to do each activity.
Create a calendar event for yourself to "just do it." Finally, take a photo of your list and send it to 2 people that you know will support you in getting it done. Accountability drives action!
4. Intercept negativity now.
Shut negativity down by intercepting it before it knocks at your door. Your space is sacred and must be protected with what you deem is appropriate to bless it with. Negativity has no place within your journey. Disrupt your normal and hang your positive affirmations, your goal, and your plans for you to see on a regular basis. Stay focused and positive in getting there.
5. Nourish all of you.
Hmmmm, can one of the activities you listed in #3 (Rediscover Yourself) help you nourish your mind, your body, or your soul? Are you reading, attending training's, and growing your mind? Are you feeding your body fruits, veggies, grains, and other power foods? Are you taking time to invest in you and what feels good to your soul? Looking for an amazing way to do all 3? Join me for a 2.5 day, all-inclusive renewal & rejuvenation of wellness, cooking, meeting new people, workshops to shift your thinking, dlounging by the pool, and simply rediscovering you!
6. Give of yourself freely.
Although you may not yet be in the position you desire for your future, you have so much to be grateful for. Give of yourself freely and without reservation because to "pay-it-forward" may really go a long way for someone in need. Someone did It for you. Give of yourself and be amazed at the blessings that pour down in your favor.
SPRING Forward & Invest in You
Lolita E. Walker is a change champion, speaker, and workshop facilitator at the forefront of a movement to help women shift their mindsets and take back moments for themselves. These moments translate to more productive, creative, and decisive individuals, who embrace change at the onset, act with clarity and confidence, and thrive, as they surpass their desired results. She moves powerful women into their own personal greatness to thrive in work, home, and life. Within the disruption, discomfort, fear, and doubts of change, are triumphs, successes, and wins. Lolita's brings those out of all of her clients. Her services range from creating personalized daily affirmations, to retreats, speaking, and coaching, to name a few.
Get your Mind on a Fitness Program
Get your mind on a fitness program. Here's 5 simple steps to get you there.
#mindstretch #personalchangemanagement #changemanagement #embracechange
As you wake, don’t forget to make Time for your Mind Fitness!!
A reminder to stretch your mind as you would stretch your body. Twist out the kinks, elongate the muscles, and reward your mind with the TLC it so desperately needs and deserves. A twist to the left, then to the right, will awaken and challenge your comfort zone until you can feel it.
Let me address your concerns before Mr. Comfort attempts to hold your next steps hostage.
You may be thinking, “I barely have enough time to get dressed and out the door in the morning” or “The stretching of my mind is not like stretching my body," or even "When my kids get up, there is absolutely no time to add anything to my already hectic morning."
GOT IT! mainly because I have been there! But... allow me to show you how to get yourself on a 5-step fitness program that elevates your mind. Welcome aboard my “Change Train.”
Choo Choo!! Let’s get shifting.
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The push
As any other morning routine, it takes effort and commitment to roll out of the bed. #PUSH to your greatness and eliminate the distractions. Set an alarm that wakes you to 15 min each day of “Morning Me Time.” Consider it with intent. Set your daily alarm now before you move on to the next step.
The setup
Choose a dedicated space in your room, preferable in front of a full mirror, to sit in comfort. I use the floor, but a chair will also work.
Turn on zen radio or spa radio to relax as you prepare to center you. (My 5 year old loves spa radio on pandora for this exercise)
The stretch
A deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth for 3 iterations.
o Think of what “I am” (physically, spiritually, mentally).
o Think of what I am grateful for.
o Think of what I will do.
o Focus your mind by AFFIRMING your “I’s” aloud. This is a super important step because affirming these “I am’s” and “I do’s” is different and may feel silly as you look at yourself face to face, and to some may even be a bit uncomfortable. #Push through. You are talking to yourself. You are talking to your best you.
The cool down
Pray and/or meditate for guidance to live your affirmations and to also be a light to others who may grab onto your positive spirit.
The consistency
Repeat daily.
Consider an affirmation that is personalized just for you.
****YOUR BONUS: The Body
While you are still seated, starting with your neck, take the time to stretch your body. Awaken your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, back, hips, legs, and feet.
Go into your day as the affirmed, confident, and clear boss you are!
Own it, Drive it, Be it!
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Lolita E. Walker is a personal and organizational change management speaker, leader, and facilitator at the forefront of a movement to help busy women shift their mindsets, to take back moments for themselves. These moments translate to more productive, creative, and decisive individuals, who embrace change at the onset, act with clarity and confidence, and thrive, as they surpass their desired results. She moves powerful women into their own personal greatness. Within the disruption, discomfort, fear, and doubt, are triumphs, successes, and wins.
Lolita’s clients range from entrepreneurs to executives and busy at home moms, who each benefit from strategies to refocus, restore, and re-weave clarity and structure into their everyday routine.
Lolita is an MBA and Industrial Engineer by trade. She uniquely fuses her technical, business and personal expertise to guide others through the necessary tools to embrace change. Her organizational change management background, coupled with personal changes fuel her movement to unleash the freedom and creativity necessary to thrive during one’s “chaos of change”,
Lolita’s services range from creating personalized daily affirmations, to renewal retreats, online workshops and both group and 1:1 coaching.
Extend your "Holiday" Season Year Round
8 tips to help your holidays last year round!
As you wind down the year and reflect on your past days with family, friends, and self, it is far too easy to immediately jump back into the hustle and bustle of everyday life, without truly capturing (and appreciating) your moments.
For some, the season brings laughs and fond memories. For others, it brings a bit of sadness and sorrow. Despite which you identify, we can agree that ‘tis the HOLIDAY season. Great news is that Mr. New Year brings a second look at EVERYTHING. He brings opportunities to start afresh and rejuvenated for the newness ahead. He brings the chance to forge a plan built upon the lessons of the past year. It is time for you to embrace what is ahead. Here’s to keeping your personal HOLIDAYS going for the entire new year!
· Hope
Believe in yourself! Believe in your faith! Believe that you are your biggest cheerleader! Affirm yourself daily to make possible the greatness that is to come. Use affirmatives of I am, I will, I can and make your best happen daily!
· Order
Order your steps. Though we believe (including myself) that we are masters at multi-tasking, the reality is that it keeps us unfocused and unproductive. Try to avoid moving from task to task, by pouring 100% into completion of one at a time. It will ease your mind, order your steps, increase your productivity, and ensure completion.
· Love
Pour love into everything that you do! Your work is a reflection of you and therefore should represent that greatness that you are.
· Introspective
Before you can properly manage, coach, direct, or help others, you must first dig deep within. Are you where you need to be physically, mentally, and emotionally? Do you have a plan already in motion to ensure you reach those goals? Leading others begins with taking leadership of you.
· Discovery
There is nothing more powerful than self-discovery! Listen to that little voice that tells you to push beyond where you are. Discover your strengths and use them to master the tasks right in front of you.
· Acknowledgement
Acknowledge that you are a work in progress. Continuously improve yourself, your processes, your systems, and your routines.
· YOU
You are your most important gift. You are your most important investment. Take care of you first, so that you can effectively take care of others. Take advantage of one of the last 3 spots for the upcoming women's renewal retreat! A perfect opportunity to invest in you!
· Simplicity
Keep It Super Simple! Simply, BE FREE! The rest will fall into place. Start each morning with a meditation, a prayer, soothing music, or whatever alternative centers you. Affirm your day through gratitude! This sets the tone for the productivity, selflessness, and greatness of your day.
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Affirmation Alley
It is never to early to start the process of affirming the intention of your day! There are power in your words, so use them to declare the greatness that you are!
Affirmation Alley: The Power that Lies Within You
Have you ever felt there was so much change coming at you at once, that you must have simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time? Did you begin to question if you were going the wrong way, should you turn left, maybe it was a right, keep straight, turn around, or simply just stop where you are and huddle in a corner? Consider me that crossing guard who spots your confusion, calls you over, and guides you toward Affirmation Alley, while handing you a card to check out when you get there. You turn right at the corner, and come upon an empty hideaway, where it is only you…and your thoughts. As your heart rate slows, and the confusion settles, you finally look at the card, which has 5 simple instructions:
1. Breathe, Reflect, Release
Breathe: Realize your surroundings and know that you are in a safe space.
Reflect: Pray, meditate, or choose a preferred method, which re-centers you and brings you to a calm.
Release: Take in positive energy, and release the toxins of doubt and fear. Leave them in the alley to be washed away with the next rain.
2. Two “Gratefuls” & One “Great”
Reflect on two things you are grateful for and one thing that will make today great.
3. Two “I Am’s” & One “I Will”
Declare two “I Am’s” and one “I Will.”. An example would be I AM great, I AM strong, and I WILL get up, shake myself off, and kick ass in this meeting today!
4. Articulate your Affirmation
There are power in your words. Use them to affirm, declare, and definitely state your day's intention. State your affirmation aloud and with power and passion. Record it as a video on your phone. Say it to a friend. Review it during the day. Reflect on it that night and congratulate yourself on affirming your day!
Affirm it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.
5. Pay It Forward
Recommend visiting Affirmation Alley to a friend, colleague, family member.
Lolita E. Walker is the founder of Walker & Walker Enterprises: A Personal & Organizational Change Management Consultancy. She is a mother, process improvement specialist and change management expert. She will partner with you, personally stepping through how to free your mind, manage your transitions, and embrace your change through acceptance and renewal. Her change management program results in self-discovery of the strengths that will drive your success, coaching that translates into increased communications with those depending on you, and a sustainable change map that drives clarity, confidence, ownership and action. Learn more about her Program, Personalized “Affirmations by Lolita,” Retreats, and other offerings that help you embrace and thrive in transition and change. Visit https://www.lolitawalker.com
7 Stops to Renewal!
What does Renewal mean to you? Here’s 7 considerations for renewing you.
As we prepare to close 2017, and leap into the greatness of 2018, please consider 7 stops along your journey to Renewal.
Stop 1: “BE FREE” Boulevard
Believe in your strengths and open your mind to now explore. Check your fears at the door and get ready to leap to the unknown. Your strengths, values, and experiences will be the net that catches and holds you up.
Stop 2: “Articulation” Avenue
There is power in claiming your desired state. Speaking it aloud builds internal ownership and is your guide to unmasking and conquering fears.
Stop 3: “Plan-It” Parkway
Verbalizing is an aspect of articulation. Documenting a plan is another. When you commit to physically creating a plan, be specific. Lolita E. Walker, Personal & Organizational Change Management Consultant, emphasizes that the more specific you are, the greater the outcome is for achieving your goals. Consider who, what, when, where, why, and how.
Stop 4: “Food” Freeway
Get off at the Food Freeway to Mindful Eating. According to Karima Roepel, Hospitality & Culinary Educator, and Founder of Ambrosia Food Group, LLC. it is important to eat foods that ground you in reality. Particularly during the winter season, grounding, rooted foods, such as sweet potatoes, carrots, and radishes help maintain balance and spark wise decision-making. Sip heated drinks that include warming spices such as cinnamon, cloves, garlic, ginger, nutmeg, and cumin. Visit @ambrosiakitchen on Instagram for tips & yummy recipes.
Stop 5: “Coping” Cul-de-sac
Dr. Safiyyah Rahman, Private Practice Psychiatrist, reminds us that road blocks are everywhere and sometimes they can unconsciously come from within. Do not get caught in a dead end. Spend time being introspective and identify those areas in need. Especially pay attention to your mental health as this is, far too often, unaddressed.
Stop 6: “Unleash the Renewed You” Row.
Embracing change is not singular! When you begin the process of rejuvenating your mind, body, and soul, you are on your way to unleashing the “new you.” On this row, are those who are depending on you for success along your journey. Embracing and empowering them will fuel your continued strength.
Stop 7: “Invest in You” Intersection
The intersection of You and Change is the investment in yourself. Change begins with you and it is essential that you invest in its foundation. Invest in a massage, take unplanned time off to spend with your friends and family, indulge in a golf or movie day, find a …..Renewal Retreat!
Are You Ready to Board the "Change Train?"
Are you ready to board the "Change Train?". Use these 5 tips!
THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
You have been planning this trip for months. Your out-of-office message is on, your ticket is printed, your bag is packed, and you are finally headed to the train station. As you enjoy the open road of comfort and familiarity, you come upon a caution sign that reads “CHANGE AHEAD.”
Your mind instantly races to what this may mean for you and your trip. This single sign of caution is the catalyst to a series of decisions you will make along your journey.
Do you keep going? Or do you allow the fear of unknown to stifle your plans and force you to quickly turn around?
THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
Deep down, you already know what to do! You have worked too hard and planned too long to turn back now! You must keep driving with the purpose of boarding that train – ON TIME!
ALL ABOARD THE CHANGE TRAIN! CHOO-CHOO…..
Here are 5 tips to make the best of your journey.
1. Find Your Right Train
You get to the station and all of the trains look alike. The train numbers are not easily identifiable and no one is in your immediate sight to ask for help. Learn as much from the information desk as possible. Get guidance on finding the right train, which will have the right conductor to take you to your change destination.
2. Board with Confidence
You have researched, planned, and are ready to go!! Though your trip began with an unexpected change, you are ready and willing to take the ride. Board the train with increased confidence in yourself, your experiences and your skills. Those core aspects are within your control and are what define your expertise. Believe in them!
3. Engage Other Passengers
Seek to understand. You are not on this journey alone. Connect with others who have experienced the same or similar changes. They have insights on what you should expect during your transition. They may also share how they navigated their journey– the successes and failures. Don’t miss out on information that people are willing to share. Step out of your comfort zone and engage them!
4. Share Your Story
Though you may be at the start of your journey, you have a story to tell. Share how you learned about the change, what fears you have, their triggers, what you are hoping for, and what role you see yourself playing.
5. Have an Arrival Plan
When you arrive, you'll want to make the most of your trip, so properly plan. Outline your to-do list, who you need for support, when you will do it and how each will help you reach your trip goals.
Most of All.......Enjoy the Ride. Your change train will make many stops along the way. Learn from each and keep the lines of communications open with all you meet.
If you need me along the way, I am here.
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THE CONSULTANCY
The consultancy was birthed from the notion that individuals and teams benefit from an unbiased outsider freeing minds to more effectively transition through change - whether work, home or life. One of the program outcomes of a tangible change map, serves as an accountability tool to guide you, and those who depend on you, through your transition.
THE FOUNDER
Lolita E. Walker is the founder of Walker & Walker Enterprises. She is a mother, process improvement specialist and change management expert. She is the change management consultant who will partner with you, personally stepping through how to free your mind, manage your transitions, and embrace your change through acceptance and renewal. Her change management program results in self-discovery of the strengths that will drive your success, coaching that translates into increased communications with those depending on you, and a sustainable change map that drives clarity, confidence, ownership and action. Learn more about her program by visiting https://www.lolitawalker.com
Hello. My Name is Fear.
Hello my name is F.E.A.R. Allow me to reintroduce myself!
Let Me Re-introduce Myself...
My name is Fear. I come around every now and then, but today i want to speak with you face to face. I am that little butterfly emotion that lives within you. I stir up those confusing and anxious feelings that stand at attention in your mind, heart and body, whenever you think of stepping out of your (and my) comfort zone!
I shouldn’t tell you this, but your friends, Confidence, Expertise, and Belief, can easily knock me down with just one look. Please do not allow my lies and manipulations of what could have been, handcuff your experience, potential and authenticity. If you continue to allow me to maintain control, I promise to leave you in an empty room full of despair, nervousness and the stubbornness of staying stagnant.
As we walked down the street just the other day, there was a sign. It said “Fear is a Liar.” I thought for sure, right then and there, that you would cast me aside, however it seems that I have planted myself so deeply within you, that you overlooked the truth within the phrase.
Well, today, I am officially here to give you permission to LEAP into YOUR GREATNESS.
Here are a few ways you can identify your fears and hold them at bay. Grab a sheet of paper when you have time to truly reflect and when you are in a space to be open and honest.
1. When you think of the change you are currently experiencing, what fears are associated?
2. Think through why you classify each of these as fears.
3. What triggers these fears to take hold?
4. What physically happens to you when these fears arise?
Now that you know what is physically happening to you when Fear peaks its head, you have regained your power! Face fear head on and tackle it as you do any other distraction that takes you away from your most productive state. Let’s say that again. Tackle fear as you do any other distraction that takes you away from your most productive state! Though fear will peak every now and again, when you are prepared to tackle it, you have the power to truly hold it at bay and move on to embracing what Fear attempted to take over!
Knowing, Triggering, Resolving!
Don’t allow Fear to handcuff you to a place of the unknown. There is too much to do, too much to learn, too much to conquer. Embrace change and knock fear on its butt!
Lolita E. Walker is the founder of Walker & Walker Enterprises. She is a mother, process improvement specialist and change management expert. She is the change management certified coach and consultant who will partner with you, personally stepping through how to free your mind, manage your transitions, and embrace your change through acceptance and renewal. Her change management program results in self-discovery of the strengths that will drive your success, coaching that translates into increased communications with those depending on you, and a sustainable change map that drives clarity, confidence, ownership and action. Learn more about her program by visiting https://www.lolitawalker.com
Learning from Your Lessons of Change
Ready for your Change Lesson? There are so many to learn, but let’s simply begin here.
The Lessons of Change
Mrs. Change has taught me soooooo many lessons throughout my lifetime. It’s as if she strategically dropped breadcrumbs along my journey, knowing I would one day reflect and realize there was a use for each one. The lessons were always in plain sight, however blocked by fear, anxiousness, doubt and the unknown. Whether it was the change of being a mom 3-months earlier than expected, or the change of my father passing after 36 years of being an instrumental vessel in my life, or the change of a smaller company acquiring the well-known business I supported for over 17 years, the lessons I clutch tightly are the foundations that have built my consultancy.
My passion of partnering with an individual or a team helps me to step them through the disruption that change has brought to their normal. Facilitating the discussions that free their minds to think clearly and confidently, to then be in a space of open navigation, prompts them to leave lessons of breadcrumbs for those who follow. The intersection of the change and their personal transition is what drives my commitment to live this work!
I would LOVE to learn, through your comments, what is your largest lesson from change? As for me, I will share five of the breadcrumbs that I consistently hold onto during my change journeys:
Lesson 1: Articulate change clearly.
Change is hard at first. When the first domino of change falls and all others are in the perfect line to follow suit, it becomes difficult to articulate your true change statement. This clarity is necessary to create any sustainable actions. Take a pause to articulate your change. After you have done this, breathe! Then dig in and ask yourself why—3 times. Likely you are now at the source of what the true change is. That single domino that stands tall at the forefront is exactly what you want to articulate and what you will create your plans toward. Write it in the form of when, what, and change impact. As a result, you become clear and focused to create the correct plan towards actions and acceptance. For example:
On January 15, 2017, I was laid off from my Vice President position at the company I have worked for 30 years and this has significantly impacted my family’s financial security and lifestyle.
On February 21, 2017, our company was acquired by a significantly smaller company, who is uncommunicative and incomparable by way of benefits, and there is a high threat of a 45-65% employee turnover in the next 6 months.
Lesson 2: Others depend on your success.
Change breeds choices. It is natural to initially be entrenched in how the change affects you alone, despite you being one of many within a family, team or organization. Change is personal and shakes us at our core, therefore oftentimes making us feel and act in isolation. What can you do to assess who truly needs your attention while on your change journey? You have lots of work to do and must be a bit selfish with your time, energy and commitments. It will look and feel different for you, however the promise on the other side of change is well worth the temporary selfishness and attention. Divide a sheet of paper into 3 columns. Write down the names of those who depend on you, what they are dependent upon you for, and if their dependency is associated directly with your change or may result in negative impacts from your change. For those that have a "no" in the third column, consider having a 1:1 conversation with each. You will share that the focus for the next 6 weeks is to embrace and thrive in your own change and would love their support to do so. Their support looks like a difference in how you are currently supporting each of them (which is what you have written in the second column of your sheet of paper). Be clear in your discussion.
Lesson 3: Let go of the old to fully embrace the new.
Change is emotional. Focusing on what you will gain in the change will help you let go of the old way of doing things. Your status quo has served its purpose!! It is time to progress to the unknown, which promises the endless possibilities of all you will become and the impact you will make. Let go and leap to greatness!
Lesson 4: There is strength in seeking help on your journey.
Change allows you to work smarter not harder. Identifying your support system and leaning on them for tangible activities during your transition is a sure sign of strength. Change helps you become vulnerable. The power that comes from not tackling it alone is AMAZING, FREEING, and places you where you should be. Arriving at the renewal stage of transition and finally embracing your change will validate the strength, confidence and conviction that you have always had.
Lesson 5: Nothing changes if your status quo remains the same.
Change is progress. One thing that is constant is change, and she will pack her bags and leave you standing on the sideline of status quo. You are not here for that! To learn, to progress, to grow and to thrive means that you will grab your to-go bag full of breadcrumbs, disrupt the norm, embrace change, and leave lessons along your path to successful change!
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Lolita E. Walker is the founder of Walker & Walker Enterprises. She is a mother, process improvement specialist and change management expert. She is the change management consultant who will partner with you, personally stepping through how to free your mind, manage your transitions, and embrace your change through acceptance and renewal. Her change management program results in self-discovery of the strengths that will drive your success, coaching that translates into increased communications with those depending on you, and a sustainable change map that drives clarity, confidence, ownership and action. Learn more about her program by visiting https://www.lolitawalker.com